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Friday, November 7th, 2008
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4:29 pm - The Idealism of Cynicism (or Vice-Versa)
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President-elect Barack Obama: it's symbolic. And to I think, I put that guy there. I put him in the Senate. I donated $2 to his campaign. I catapulted him to the presidency with my one popular vote and 21 electoral votes.
People screamed for Hope, people sold hopeful T-shirts, and South Park did an Hope Diamond-stealing homage to Guy Ritchie the next day. In another not-oft-mentioned episode, there were a few black boys behind me in Grant Park shouting BIDEN, GO JOE, and JOE 2016 when the vice president-elect himself got onto stage after the speech.
So everyone's feeling good (that bastard Obama really can give a speech). It feels like it's time for change: is it time for a revolution, the Republican comedy revolution? The party in power is never the party with the most ammo for comedy. My blog and my craft were honed in these years of Bush. I began Improv in these eight years, and my writing productivity soared. I created the wise-cracking, sometimes Communist, mostly just-a-jerk character Eaglie only a few months after September 11th.
But I stood there and listened to the echoes of the cries of "Yes, We Can" and "Yes, We Did," the words of the Gettysburg Address, and, most moving of all, the crowds singing along to "The Star-Spangled Banner." I bobbed my head. I sang along.
This for me creates a conflict of my idealism and cynicism. It's like if the Cubs won the World Series: where do I go from here? What do I do? Where's my comedy? Is Obama really this awesome? Will he save us all?
Then I figure, nah. He's human, he might or might not screw up, but at least we still have greasy congressional halls, haywire circuit courts, and the entire state of California.
Rest assured, this is my job. Like any satirist (Chris Buckley to name one, The Daily Show cast to name some others), I love my job even when it kills me with inner conflict, the conflict piercing my heart: how do I turn the painful funny?
I do not doubt this my calling. President Obama will not be spared. And my friend and fellow blogger Pacman reminded me, don't forget Biden. Ah, thank God for Joe.
current mood:  indescribable
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| Sunday, September 28th, 2008
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10:21 am - To Paul Newman
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"The History of Bolivia"
A poem by Richard Brautigan
Reprinted from this website.
"Butch didn't die in Bolivia. He came
home to Utah-- I saw him after he got back.
The Sundance Kid was killed in Bolivia
and it grieved Butch to leave him there."
(Next, to reprint that when Robert Redford dies. Also, please don't ask me about the zombie implications of that poem... I wasn't thinking that hard about it.)
current mood:  okay
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| Friday, September 19th, 2008
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9:17 am - Talk Like a Pirate Like It's 2008!
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Ahoy, laddies, ladies, an'chumbuckets! Sittin'ere this mornin' wit'm'grog (warm water an'coffee grounds), this ol' Salty Bird remembered t'post wi'a li'l pirattitude! So wither ya be dressed as mad ol' Blackbeard or Jimmy Buffett (who nary be a swashbuckler, but some swashbucklers be lis'nin' t'him), pick up th'phone! Tell yer scurvy mateys! Celebrate w'ol' Greasy Dirk Eags! Or, maybe, the Somalis.
current mood:  arrrr-guably good
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| Thursday, May 29th, 2008
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12:22 pm - I Heard Some of My Readers Were Obama Fans
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Some (LOL)people run better campaigns than others.
(Dedicated to Harvey Korman. Rest in peace, fellow straightman.)
current mood:  busy
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| Wednesday, May 7th, 2008
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3:31 am - Irish, German, and Elitest
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I was trying out a new joke on my roommate the other day: I said I wanted a T-shirt that said, "Irish Tolerance, German Ethics."
He paused a second, then burst out laughing. German ethics, he said? "Like Nietzche?"
I wanted to hit him. I said so. But I told him, "I just Kant."
current mood:  bouncy
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 5th, 2008
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8:00 pm - Five Years of Aviariness
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| Sunday, May 4th, 2008
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9:24 pm - Spindle Thieves in the Night
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They stole it. Cermak Plaza, the city of Berwyn (where was the landmark status?), whoever else involved. They stole it.
Friday night/Saturday morning, they took an item of immense value down, piece by piece, tore it out like my heart, Wayne's World be damned.
My dad once told me that the blue car, the third one from the top, was where our old car went. Never mind that it wasn't the right model: I was four. I STILL don't know cars. I think it was a Dodge.
But this is my touching tribute to the sculpture that defined my neck of the woods. Berwyn, Forest Park, North Riverside... what else DID we have? A panther sighting?
Okay, that was an obscure, ancient reference, even by my standards.
Anyway, I wanted to say goodbye, Spindle. You were the tallest thing for miles. And you will stand taller every time you think of you.
It's sad, you know? I hadn't gotten to drive by it with "Bohemian Rhapsody" cranked for at LEAST two months.
current mood:  depressed
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| Thursday, April 24th, 2008
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4:28 am - The Last Late-Night
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I wish that were true. Here I am, with one more period of each of my classes left, pulling the last late-night, all-nighter, sun's-up-down-and-up-again... whatever cliche you want to call it. Seriously, a rose by any other name is still not getting me any extra sleep.
So it's time to reflect and waste an extra 15 minutes writing this little synopsis. Nostalgia is surprisingly sharp when the sun's threatening. Hell, I'm listening to my high school graduation CD right now (thanks, Alex!).
Throughout my school career, I never could get my papers done before 4 am the night before they were due. If I did, I would still lie awake and have to reset my alarm after two hours of that, or else I wouldn't get ANY sleep.
For this paper, I prepped and got an outline and a few pages written two nights ago. Of course, then I just couldn't put the rest of it together until now. I am tempted to skip the class before this paper is due, but I have a final exam in it.
The New York Times just reached my email box. And now I'm writing this. I never learn.
current mood: morose
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| Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
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7:20 pm - Happy Earth Day! And Other Stuff, Too!
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It's Earth Day, yes, but it's also Pennsylvania Primary Day, both of which mean nothing... until today.
Well, Earth Day still means nothing, but Pennsylvania this Tuesday is more than just the whipping boy of several national sports: it is also being pimped for votes.
(Read on at the Aviary!)
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| Saturday, April 12th, 2008
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5:45 pm - Hey, Gusy!
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| Friday, March 21st, 2008
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11:41 pm
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Remember: it's totally dangerous to accept the task of being a speaker and telling a crowd of 100+ about all your trials, tribulations, and hilarious anecdotes.
current mood:  nostalgic
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| Monday, March 17th, 2008
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12:12 am - Happy Real St. Patrick's Day!
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| Thursday, March 6th, 2008
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12:50 am - COME! LAUGH! DRINK!
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Hey, gusy and gasl! BAM! has a show this Friday night, March 7th at midnight at iO Theater (on Clark and Addison, right by Wrigley Field)! Keelin Wyman, Chris Burdulis, and Andy Dost would be ever so happy if you came! Witness the first public performance by BAM! since last summer, and its first since rookie sensation Keelin joined!
$5 in the Del Close Theater (upstairs)! There's a good bar there, too, seeing as how a few of you are 21 now!
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| Tuesday, February 5th, 2008
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2:39 am - Happy Mardi Gras! I'm Back from New Orleans
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And Mark Twain is right: "It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he as seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans."
It was a great trip, which I think makes up for me not live-blogging the Super Bowl, but that game was one of the best I've ever seen (I watched the second half in a few bars).
My thoughts on why it was so great? Because New England got embarrassed, thereby saving us decades of smugness. Also, it averted an Apocalypse: no region/city should ever win two championships in one year (Red Sox, Patriots) and if they had won three (the Celtics), someone might have had to murdah them.
One last thought before I get to writing the important things: the reading of the Declaration of Independence by NFL coaches, players, and retired veterans... was this smarmy or just plain cheesy? I can't decide which.
current mood:  cheerful
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| Friday, February 1st, 2008
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2:16 am - BEADSBEADSBEADS
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Hurricane Ditka is headed today to New Orleans! We'll see how that Superdome holds up! I'll be there in 12 hours, barring weather, delays, and a nasty habit of O'Hare's: hating people smaller than it.
Also, I'll be journaling the whole time, though sadly not here (no Internets). Expect something nice when I get back. However, Super Tuesday will probably receive precedence. Don't worry: that'll make the New Orleans travelogue that much sweeter, wetter, wilder, and windier.
Also, that was my second hurricane joke, and I haven't even made it to the plane yet.
What do you call a pair of jeans holding back Lake Pontchartrain?
Levees-Strauss. Or maybe just Bob.
current mood: celebratory
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| Wednesday, January 30th, 2008
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1:15 pm - Snow, Ice, and a Sister to Blame, by Andy
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This is written in honor of something that happened seven years ago today.
I avoided it for seven years. How can I go back? Yet I went to that parking lot. Back to that asphalt just to cut a little bit of walking time. Wasn't that what Margaret told me so many years ago? I went along in my infinite freshman wisdom, not knowing the horrors that would face me for listening to her. Today I stepped carefully, even if I knew I was safe this time.
current mood: cold
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| Friday, January 18th, 2008
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9:00 pm - Andy's Story of the Day
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Today my roommate Dan and I played good Samaritans to someone's lost phone. After lecture, we were waiting to talk to the professor. A girl brought up a phone she'd found on the floor, saying it must've been left. We immediately took up helping this person, checking the phone and offering to take it to the Student Union.
We first figured out this phone's owner was a girl (there were pictures). Next we called the most likely contact to reach her: Mom. Mom was very happy to know the phone was in very capable hands. We told the woman to contact her daughter and tell her the phone would be at the student union. We were walking there anyway.
Minutes later, Dan looked up and told me, Andy, we might have to tell some other people. I wondered why. He answered, "Her mom just texted her where to find her phone."
"What kind of family IS this?!"
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| Saturday, January 12th, 2008
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12:39 am - The Lady or the Tiger?
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| Monday, December 31st, 2007
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6:12 pm - Horsemen Cometh in '07
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| Sunday, December 23rd, 2007
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2:11 am - Never Been on Either End of This Link, Thankfully
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one_true_eaglie's journal
